Delete Your Relationship Stress & Pain On the Spot!

Valentine’s Day
Getting back to the Basics:

This special holiday can bring many emotions to the surface …

It’s rather difficult to think about Valentine’s Day if you don’t have a partner, you’re in either a contentious relationship or one that has become boring. For many of us this special day acts to emotionally trigger upsets we have with ourselves or our partners.

Perhaps you can’t find Mr. or Ms. Right or you have given up trying. You may be enduring a relationship where everything is an argument, your emotional needs are ignored by your mate, your mate continually criticizes, blames or ignores you, all passion has died, you want to leave but are too attached or afraid to do so.

• Step One is to love yourself unconditionally.

• Step Two is to find and delete hidden relationship weaknesses.

• Step Three is to love others unconditionally.

Conditional Love, or Unconditional Love …

Experts insist that this annual celebration of your love, regardless of what actions are taken, is just a gesture, with no real meaning. Rather, nurturing your love depends on a more constant attention to and engagement with your partner. In the crunch of work obligations, family demands, and social commitments this can be easier said than done, but we must make the effort if we want a lasting relationship.

I argue that the above solution sounds logical, and while it is better than not engaging with one another, it is still more like a band-aid than the answer to relationship survival. A loving relationship depends on finding and deleting the underlying causes/reasons/sources of relationship problems.

Furthermore, what we are celebrating on Valentine’s Day is not true love, but CONVENTIONAL LOVE, which is conditional and exists as a product of the mind rather than as a reality. The mind forms an attachment to the idea of love rather than encouraging the free experience and expression of love itself.

Conventional love as we know it exists in the mind as a method of solving perceived needs of the mind. For example, the majority of us are not OK with being alone. Your mind dictates that you need someone else – and then provides you with a reason for this choice. Perhaps, so you won’t be lonely or bored with yourself, or you need someone to share your life experiences with, someone to give your life meaning or someone who gives you the illusion of being needed. You may be searching for commitment, attention, security or roots.

Love then becomes an attachment – something you are holding onto. Sooner or later you actually become an instrument of that attachment – this is when the misery begins. Now, not only does your mind place conditions and restrictions on your partner, as well as being possessive, but it envisions that your list of expectations involving the other will be fulfilled. When this fails to occur, memories all the other times your expectations were not met are emotionally triggered and you are no longer dealing with what is currently happening. You now blame your partner and this becomes a problem, not realizing the source of this problem, its reasons and causes lie within you.

True unconditional love, which resides in the heart center, flows out freely as an expression of who we really are, who we are meant to be. It has no conditions, expectations, restrictions or possessiveness.

Finally, the most important relationship you have is with yourself … to love and accept yourself unconditionally.

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